Topper's TravelsTopper Kain's blog. Topper Kain is a world-famous kazoo player and traditional norwegian food chef. He wants you to use the comments. Monday, April 12, 200446.74556% - Super Geekhttp://www.innergeek.us/geek.html .: posted by Topper 6:51 PMFreddie Roosevelt says: Oh, did you hear the french instituted a new Terror alert system? Carly says: no Freddie Roosevelt says: yeah the levels are "1- Whine 2 - Appease 3 - Run Away 4 - Surrender 5 - Aide the enemy" Carly says: for real?...or are you joking? Freddie Roosevelt says: HAHHAHAHA I'm joking. Carly says: asshole Freddie Roosevelt says: you thought I wasn't? Seriously? Carly says: well...for a sec...I might have...shut up! .: posted by Topper 1:30 AMSunday, April 11, 2004[after I make some comment about uptight, neurotic Jewish relatives]Carly says: I won't get that way in my bird calling and bellydancing classes Freddie Roosevelt says: wow Freddie Roosevelt says: just wow .: posted by Topper 11:56 PMDancing is really freaking tiring. It's like doing an hour's worth of half squats with a chick sitting in your lap. .: posted by Topper 3:42 AMThursday, April 08, 2004CMSgirl2004: random question for youCMSgirl2004: do you know who was in charge of distributing lemons this evening at scripps? topkai22: umm, no clue topkai22: but that would be someone from west dorm CMSgirl2004: hmmm topkai22: wait, no one is getting in trouble right? CMSgirl2004: haha CMSgirl2004: no topkai22: okay, good CMSgirl2004: i was just curious CMSgirl2004: they could have though CMSgirl2004: i think it might have been them CMSgirl2004: but 3 males streaked through our dorm this evening CMSgirl2004: went out the patio doors which set off the alarm and out the garden door topkai22: hahaha topkai22: that's funny CMSgirl2004: luckily it was only a small group of us girls around and none of us are uptight so no one like reported it or anything CMSgirl2004: i was just curious if you knew the culprits CMSgirl2004: or had heard anyone say anything topkai22: nah CMSgirl2004: haha CMSgirl2004: well if you do, now you know where it happened. CMSgirl2004: lol topkai22: which dorm do you live in again? CMSgirl2004: browning topkai22: ahh, okay topkai22: they were streaking? CMSgirl2004: they were without clothes topkai22: who the hell does that anymore? I thought that died with discos and bellbottoms .: posted by Topper 2:17 AMMonday, April 05, 2004Northern Dorm in HMC Under Martial LawBy Christopher Kain, Routers (North, HMC) North dorm has been put under martial law by local warlord Dean Noda after actions by a small group of extremists caused major disruptions during festivities this weekend. There are troops in streets, and a strict curfew has been imposed. Liquid substance is being denied the population and sacred religious traditions have been banned by the government. The flow of refugees to the surronding West and Linde dorms has quintupled in recent weeks, and is placing a noticeable strain on those dorms facilities and supplies. Moderate groups in dorm are asking from intervention from the UN, and demanding the investigation of possible human rights violations. Inhabited primarily by the religous tribe Norf, North dorm has historically been one of the most contentious provinces of HMC. The Dean system of ruling HMC has come under critiscm recently for using strong-arm tatics againsts Norfers, including the summary executed of a minor vandal and the imprisonment of a respected Norf leader after he failed to notify the government that a minor religious celebration was going to take place. .: posted by Topper 10:50 PMSunday, April 04, 2004So last weekend night my roomie gets REALLY fucking drunk. I mean he gets drunk a lot, and this is the worst I've seen him, the guy is walking a line crookeder than the Harding adminstration. Anyways, he eventually gets himself back to our room (also motel style, funnily enough), kind of collapses on the floor and starts muttering to himself "fuck em, fucking mother fuckers" over and over again (he eventually starts playing a beat to this with his hands on the floor). Eventually he realizes he has to pee, bolts up, and instead of using our bathroom (which he is already part of the way into...) he runs outside and shouting "Pi O S. Pi O S", which is an abbrevation for "Piss On South (an adjacent dorm)." So he runs over to South, drops trou, and starts pissing on South. At which point a Camp Sec (Campus Security, rent-a-cops) starts rolling by in patrol car (read golf cart). I shout "Sam, Sam, Camp Sec dude!" Sam goes "Oh Shit", and not stopping to zip up his pants or anything he bolts through a hedge of bushes, away from the Camp Sec cart and behind a tree at which point he whips it out again and resumes pissing. Camp Sec rolls bye, and we all breath a sigh of relief, but by this time Sam has, in the commotion, pissed all over himself. As he is walking back to the dorm he relizes this and starts shouting "No piss-pants, no piss-pants" and begins to take off his pants in the middle of the four dorm quad. Realizing this is obiviously a bad situtation my buddies and I drag his ass back to our dorm. He gets his pants off, crawls his ass over to one of our couches, and sits sits down in it. Then lil' nick grabs his piss-pants, runs off with them, and then throws them on the roof. Sam (after a healthy comprehension delay) gets pissed and starts chasing after lil' nick in nothing but his boxer briefs. Nick, being a wily little monkey, gets away, and so sam decides to take out his aggression against our dorm President, Colin. Sam sticks his fingers above his head, in a manner reasembling horns, and then proceeds to charge Colin. Colin Ole's him and he crashes into the fence cage we had set up for the party that night. Undettered, Sam charges twice more, and the second time ends up flipping over a couch. Sam, perhaps suddenly becomming embarrased, buries himself in the couch cushions. I walk over and ask "Sam, you alright man? Bleeding anywhere?" and get this reply: "Dude, I'm a couch, what are talking to couch for. That's fucked up man, everyone knows couches can't talk."Okay, so that was a little longwinded, but I don't feel like editing. It's still funny. .: posted by Topper 3:18 PMSaturday, April 03, 2004Online personality quiz: damn ugly picture but not a bad description. It pegged jon pretty well too:http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RGLD&g=1&o=1&h=177 .: posted by Topper 10:04 PM |
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